Michael and I are celebrating our sixth anniversary! Voilá, I’m sharing my current state of mind regarding our “State of the Union”. Anniversaries are always a nice opportunity to reflect not only on your relationship, but on the passage of time as well, and how the two relate.
Some friends getting married this month sent out with their invitation an open request for words of advice to bless their marriage. The profound and witty words of the dear late Ruth Bader Ginsburg (she was quoted as having been given this advice on her wedding day by her mother-in-law) ring true and give me a chuckle every time I recall them:
“In every good marriage it helps sometimes to be a little deaf!”
I adore this bit of counsel and while it may be a bit of a bleak take on marriage, rarely does a couple need advice when things are going well! It also speaks to Hon. Ruth Ginsburg’s strength and humor; to be able to confidently carry on proudly throughout the guaranteed trials of a time-tested relationship. And as I like to teach my son: the more effort you put into any project, the richer the rewards. Six years in, a house, and two children later, marriage is proving to be no exception.
During my recent trip to the Seattle Art Museum, written on a small placard nestled in the Empathy exhibit, I noted a mention of the Kongo concept: “coil of life”. This signage grabbed me since it validates a long held notion of mine that the “time line” of life seems to be more of a slinky. It’s as if time and events repeat themselves thematically but not quite exactly, the seasons of life have similarities, and we revisit them as we loop out and onwards, and touch back to something familiar but in a new iteration. Not only does life seem to spiral through time, but it is also a roller coaster and doubly so (at least!) when you’re winding your spiral together with a partner’s! Anniversaries are a perfect example to reflect on the unique double helix that is created by entwining two lives over time.
In case this idea is too esoteric for your taste, simply enjoy the photos of Michael and me, where I’m wearing my grandmother’s dress in 2010, 2015, and again in 2020.
This dress I am wearing in the above photos is the dress my grandmother had tailored for herself- (from Belgian lace she’d picked up in Belgium) for the special occasion of my parents wedding in 1971. I’d love to unearth a photo of Ruth wearing this dress as mother-of-the bride*! Talk about the coil of life, and the rich fabric of community that is created through the familial lineage.
Here they are are on their wedding day looking just as gorgeous and in love. Such an inspiration! While we weren’t ultimately able to gather in-person as planned, we hold your union in our thoughts and wish you, Nana and Baba, many fulfilling and nurturing years to come.
A perfect day, a perfect lifeline. I’m glad I spent it learning and growing and twining with you!
*Lynn shared photos from 25 September 1971! Thank you Lynn!