Artist. Idealist. Friend. Health advocate. Yoga instructor. Yogi. Lover of life. Forty-something mummy fulfilling a lifetime dream. I couldn't have a better team!
Lady Kitty asked me, “Do you want to play Rock Shop? You don’t need to help me, but you can and I would like it.”
*Tug Tug*
I do not recall what I was doing in that moment of the Rock Shop invitation, or how I responded to the *Tug*. I just found this scrap of paper whilst cleaning up a few tidbits. I still try to jot down quotes when I can, to preserve the particularities of the kids’ precocious sayings. Nonetheless, many slip by. I think I will remember and write it down later, but I can barely remember by that evening, or by an even slimmer margin of possibility the next day.
I do not recall what I was doing in that moment of the Rock Shop invitation, or how I responded to the *Tug*. The days and what they encompass of parenting have a funny way of distorting time. Distress amplifies some moments and days seem to leapfrog in a blur from one challenge to the next. Meanwhile, time overall collapses; where did it go? Each beautiful moment is presented as an offering before vanishing. How do I remind myself to cherish the present moment, again and again and again? It is here, Dear Reader, where I reflect with gratitude, that perspectives can shift. Precious exchanges can be relished and hardships relinquished. Sharing the interactions that brought me bemusement and warmth allows me to savor the connection once more.
I do not recall what I was doing in that moment of the Rock Shop invitation, or how I responded to the *Tug*. My photo library references these images from three days prior. I sure hope I said “yes” to my darling, and responded with a hug.
I do not recall what I was doing in that moment of the Rock Shop invitation, or how I responded to the *Tug*. I can say I’m trying to say “yes” more consciously. Even if it is “yes” to only a few minutes of reading or playing, or a qualified “when… then…” “yes.” Ultimately, I’ve noticed simply saying “yes” brings a tingle of connection for both of us. At the end of the day, at the end of a life, that’s all we really wanted: to feel connected, validated, and like we belonged. So, “Yes, Love, I would like to play. I would like that too.” Thank you for extending a bid for connection. Thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity. Thank you for giving me permission to slow down. I’m honored to be your mum. A perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you.
Tolle: My face is all puffy, again! (Upon waking up at my parents house during a lovely Thanksgiving weekend.)
Lady Kitty: Why?
Tolle: I don’t know. (Presumably some kind of allergic reaction.)
Lady Kitty: Probably just because you’re so beautiful.
Tolle: *heart bursts with love/swoon*
Lady Kitty: Who do you think has the bluest eyes?
Tolle: Who?
Lady Kitty: I think me.
Tolle: *smiles with interest* Yeah?
Lady Kitty: Maybe me because I’m the youngest. Mine are the bluest. Mine are the newest. They’re the shiniest. Then Lake next. Then you. Yours are light blue.
📸 David Jacobs 2025
So much to be thankful for with this daughter, this family, and these dear friends! A perfect day. I’m glad I spent it with you.
Lake said, “I wish I had a normal name like Jack or Amelia.” I couldn’t stop laughing. “You want us to call you Amelia?” I teased him. “No!” he harrumphed at me, a bit fake-cross, a bit amused. I could tell that part of him, the mature part, realized how humorous and futile his wish truly was.
We are each unique, aren’t we, Lake? Craving to fit in (belonging), Craving to stand out (validation). Thank you for being you.
A perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you, Exactly You.
This winter brought the opportunity for the kids to try out new winter sports. The snow was great, the mum had a smidge more brain capacity freed up (probably from lack of blogging), and some generous friends and some motivated au pairs offered to take the kids skiing and skating.
Lady Kitty has been gaining in confidence on the ice. Linnéa, Theresa, Amie and Lena have all taken Lady Kitty ice skating here and there over the past few years. Lena, though, found a free tots hour on Monday mornings so between Amie, Lena and Tom, Lady Kitty been skating consistently this winter. She adores it and has earned her own pair of skates.
Lady Kitty shares with a seal, which gives her stability and therefore speed on the ice. Having a n’ice time!
A few weeks ago Lena arranged for her an ice skating date with another au pair charge. They both got along really well and it was so sweet. Due to being born at the beginning of the Covid pandemic and subsequent social societal change, combined with having not started school yet, unfortunately, Lady Kitty hasn’t had many opportunities for making friends her own age, so it was a special milestone. Lady Kitty absolutely loved it!
In late February Lake had his first taste of downhill skiing and he absolutely loved that! It came about like this. I kept bringing up in conversation that I was hoping Lake could learn skiing because I thought he would love and excel at it, but that unfortunately neither Michael nor I ski. After a few phishing attempts, when I brought it up and Miramda heard me, Miranda miraculously volunteered to take Lake up to the mountain! She took him the first two Sundays by herself. When she pulled up in her husband Dave’s Toyota Tacoma that first morning, Lake was positively beaming. Many thanks to Miranda!
Lake has been fortunate enough to go every Sunday since. His appetite for another run and a faster speed is insatiable. I’m beginning to wonder if the inevitable trip to the ER will be in our future. Now everyone I hear of a having had a skiing collision I’m like, “can you please share your experience with Lake. Please? Thank you!” He’s on to me. “You told them to tell me that story, didn’t you?” he perceptively launches his accusation at me, glaring. That’s where we are these days. He’s not wrong. He is beginning to exhibit the invincibility of the young. And it’s coming strongly into fulminant expression. And he’s having a great time doing it.
First time out— learning from Miranda on the magic carpet at Snoqualmie Pass Summit. Miranda is a talented skier and an even more patient teacher. Lake is very lucky!Advancing to the green chair lifts, and getting his own gear and goggles.The day Miranda wasn’t available he went with Tom and they both had a blast. Thank you Tom!
Lake kept wanting to go again and he kept having a great time, so I figured I might as well tag along. If I was comfortable skiing, it would open up more possibilities for Lake (and possibly Lady Kitty) to learn when other skiing friends weren’t available to take Lake up. So, I would see if I could dust off my ski skills, and with it, perhaps uncover a latent joy in skiing. I went up with Miranda and Dave. The skiing came back to me and it turns out it’s a lot more confidence -boosting to learn on the flatter local terrain compared with the steep mountain cliffs around Zermatt. So, here we go! We all shared some wholesome wintertime fun in the mountains, and went back for more.
Re-started back on the magic carpet in the morning. Advanced to the easiest chair lifts in the afternoon. Skiing in fresh snow with Dave. Learning alongside, and from, Lake
It snowed on us. We skied and had a blast. We came back the next weekend. It rained. We got sopping wet and still had a blast. Okay, but maybe we don’t prefer skiing in the rain. We still laughed a lot and had a blast, though, and it was definitely worth it! Another special shared ski session in the mountains.
Attempting a challenging “blue” run in the rain
Now, Lady Kitty really wants to learn too. It’s contagious. Michael has expressed an interest in learning skiing as well. Maybe next year the whole family will be on the slopes!
…
I will end this story of skating and skiing on a sweet note. On the morning after the time change— (yes Spring is surely coming!) I had to wake Lady Kitty up for ice skating. I was waking her up with cuddles and kisses when I asked her, “ are you having some sweet dreams?” “I have a sweet mama,” she answered. 🥹
A perfect day for snow sports, and I’m glad I get to discover their joy with you my dears!
“When I get a little older I’m moving here,” Lake enthused over his very first pain au chocolate.
This was the first morning after we had traveled for a full day from Seattle to Innsbruck via Frankfurt and Munich. He fell asleep at the table, and started to fall over (I caught him just in time before his head could hit the table), then he fell asleep again sitting up. I guess it’s bedtime!
“What should I call the story about your first trip to Austria?” I asked Lake.
“Wait is this for your blog?” he said.
“Yes,” I replied, mildly surprised he knew I had a blog.
He paused for half a second then replied confidently, “Wonderland.”
“You’re very nimble, Lake,” I said over dinner. In reference to something I already forget what. Possibly some freeze tag antics.
“Do you know what nimble means, Lake?” Michael subsequently asked.
“Nimble means agile,” Lake replied.
Stunned silence on my part.
He acknowledged my wordless surprise by agreeing that was a sophisticated word to use to define another word.
“Yes, I would have probably said, ‘quick’ myself. Agile is even closer though, isn’t it?” I said with a wink.
And then the conversation nimbly turned to a new topic. Lake and I have been seeing a fair bit of live theatre and dance performances lately… it’s fun to share that bond.
I’m glad I spend these tough and breathtakingly beautiful days with you. There are no more perfect days. There are only a sprinkling of perfect moments.
Lady Kitty likes the ‘Potato Story’ and will sometimes to my surprise and delight request it when we are in bed cuddling during the “girls’ spa nights” we’ve been having of late whilst Lake zonks out fast asleep from his busy days. Lady Kitty’s ‘Potato Story’ is an excerpt from Peace is Every Step: the path of mindfulness in everyday life, by Thich Nhat Hanh, and goes like this:
Cooking Our Potatoes Thanks to the illuminating light of awareness, after pracing mindful observation for a while, we begin to see the primary causes of our anger. Meditation helps us look deeply into things in order to see their nature. If we look into our anger, we can see its roots, such as misunderstanding, clumsiness, injustice, re-sentment, or conditioning. These roots can be present in ourselves and in the person who played the principal role in precipitating our anger. We observe mindfully in order to be able to see and to understand. Seeing and understanding are the elements of liberation that bring about love and compassion. The method of mindful observation in order to see and understand the roots of the anger is a method that has lasting effectiveness. We cannot eat raw potatoes, but we don’t throw them away just because they are raw. We know we can cook them. So, we put them into a pot of water, put a lid on, and put the pot on the fire. The fire is mindfulness, the practice of breathing consciously and focusing on our anger. The lid symbolizes our con-centration, because it prevents the heat from going out of the pot. When we are practicing breathing in and out, looking into our anger, we need some concentration in order for our practice to be strong. Therefore, we turn away from all distractions and focus on the problem. If we go out into nature, among the trees and flowers, the practice is easier. As soon as we put the pot on the fire, a change occurs. The water begins to warm up. Ten minutes later, it boils, but we have to keep the fire going a while longer in order to cook our potatoes. As we practice being aware of our breathing and our anger, a transformation is already occurring. After half an hour, we lift the lid and smell something different. We know that we can eat our potatoes now. Anger has been transformed into another kind of energy-understanding and compassion.
She only likes me to read the bits about the potatoes, when Thich Nhat Hanh waxes on to the analogy, she protests. Thus, under duress I read aloud the following edit…
We cannot eat raw potatoes, but we don’t throw them away just because they are raw. We know we can cook them. So, we put them into a pot of water, put a lid on, and put the pot on the fire... As soon as we put the pot on the fire, a change occurs. The water begins to warm up. Ten minutes later, it boils, but we have to keep the fire going a while longer in order to cook our potatoes. … a transformation is already occurring. After half an hour, we lift the lid and smell something different. We know that we can eat our potatoes now.
When I began, “‘We cannot eat raw potatoes,’” she interrupts me straightaway.
“That’s not true,” she protests. “You can eat red potatoes raw.”
“Oh?” I say.
“You can eat red potatoes,” she insists.
“Red potatoes?” I inquire, squinting quizzically in the soft candlelight.
“Yes, I did with Maicy and Hazel in the garden.”
“Oh, red tomatoes,” I nod.
“Yes, red topatoes,” she says emphatically.
Much charming confusion ensued to distinguish red tomatoes from red potatoes. and to sadly dispense with the delightful use of ‘topatoes’ as a cross of words between tomatoes and potatoes that does not actually exist as something to eat, cooked or raw.
📸 Lily Luu 2024
Additionally Lady Kitty likes to then request the ‘Cabbage Story’ also by Thich Nhat Hanh, “Blaming Never Helps.”
Blaming Never Helps When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. One day in Paris, I gave a lecture about not blaming the lettuce. After the talk, I was doing walking meditation by myself, and when I turned the corner of a building, l overheard an eight-year-old girl telling her mother, “Mommy, remember to water me. I am your lettuce.” I was so pleased that she had understood my point completely. Then I heard her mother reply, “Yes, my daughter, and I am your lettuce also. So please don’t forget to water me too.” Mother and daughter practicing together, it was very beautiful.
📸 Lauren Ryan 2024
A beautiful shared moment. We are lettuces watering each other. We are boiling our potatoes and eating our tomatoes 🍅 with friends straight out of the garden. We are spending time together. A perfect end to a perfect day. I’m glad I spent those precious moments with you.
Lake’s an enthusiastic participant of second grade now this autumn! He is throwing himself back into his 6:30 early morning alarm o’clock wake up and ensuing activities. You can be proud of yourself, Lake!
📸 Lily Luu – 2024
He is riding the school bus 🚌, enjoying second grade, making new friends, and showing up for extracurricular programming. Lake is continuing boychoir on Mondays and Wednesdays. Then together with Lady Kitty (although they are in different sections) swimming lessons on Tuesdays, and ballet class on Saturday mornings.
“Do you think I could use mittens for gloves?” Lady Kitty said, referring to gardening gloves. She’s a keen observer, watching me wearing them lately as I’ve been doing my autumn planting—creating an English border garden.
Lady Kitty then answered her own question. She said, affecting an unconscious British accent, “a bit too warm for late Summer, don’t you agree?” She laughed.
Then she continued with the British accent and followed it up with, “a huge bit too warm,” and laughed again.
A perfect day. Four and a half. A perfect age. I’m so glad I spent it with you.
“There’s more boys than girls in the Earth, right Mama?” Lady Kitty said as we were cuddling in bed.
“No, there’s actually more women than men. Why?”
She paused, then ventured, “Men are usually in charge, they are usually the leaders.”
Pause. The eternal question.
I take a breath, a bit heartbroken. How do I explain cultural patriarchy to my darling four and a half year old girl?
“Women are presidents and leaders of homes, families, countries, and companies.” I dodge her point and pivot with counter-evidence.
“The Vice President, Kamala Harris, is running for President right now.”
“What’s a president?” she asked.
“A president is a leader of a country, or a company or an organization. They preside over.”
Silence. I could hear her processing. I continued.
“I can tell you’re going to be a leader, Lady Kitty.”
“Oh.” I could hear her a bit shyly, yet proudly smiling.
“I’m talking and my eyes are closed,” she said.
“Me too. I’m talking with my eyes closed too,” I said.
“It’s called Pillow Talk,” I said smiling.
“Is there Pillow Laugh?” she asked.
“Yes, there’s Pillow Laugh.” I replied both of us laughing.
“And there is Pillow Kiss and Pillow Sleep,” I said.
“I’m Pillow Sleep,” she concluded.
“Good night, Pillow Sleep. I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too,” she said.
“I love you Lady Kitty,” I said again, cherishing her strength, her innocence, her stoic curiosity, and because it’s so precious to her say back. Sometimes out of the blue she says to me, perhaps in reply to a greeting, loving phrase or a gesture with “I love you, too.”
A Perfect Day . . . 