Reportedly Lake wasn’t so interested in the applause on Day Three. There must be a story there. He’s intelligent. When he elegantly illustrates this, it probably shouldn’t, but sometimes it takes me by surprise. Turns out he knows inherently how to take such good care of himself. 

Tuesday night (Wednesday morning actually) was terrible. From 3am to 8am he was crying shrilly and inconsolably. The only thing that comforted him was to keep him on the breast. He ate from 3-4:30 am but then he didn’t go back to sleep the way he normally will if he gets up in the middle of the night, which is in and of itself rare. So then Michael and I were up with him the rest of the night. 

He was sounding in pain. We did not know what was wrong. It was distressing. Every time he would lose his latch he would revert to his cry. In retrospect I think it was the applesauce. A bit overboard on the applesauce at daycare. The well intentioned daycare providers fed him applesauce twice on Monday. Apparently he really liked it. It was his first food, and when I had authorized giving him fruit or vegetables to eat. I’d meant it to be a bit of a distraction in emergencies until I arrived to breastfeed him. Well, he had applesauce three times on Tuesday, where he ate “most of the applesauce” each time. 
Wednesday morning around 8am, just before getting us both ready to head out the door, I had the thought, 

maybe it’s the applesauce. 

So I have him some adult probiotics. So far he had only had neonatal probiotics with bacteria for exclusively breastfeeding babies. So I opened a capsule of my probiotics and shook it in his mouth. He made a face as he smacked on the dry powder, then promptly fell asleep. Into a deep restorative sleep. 

He slept most of the day. He even slept through the daycare fire drill. They piled three other babies in his crib and rolled him outside. He stayed peacefully asleep. And he refused the applesauce. 

Today he’s his old self again. Happy-go-Lucky good natured fellow. Ah, happy Thanksgiving! Thankful to be looking forward to four days of mummy bliss together with him the whole time!

Wishing you all the happiest of holidays as well!                                                                                                                              

We made it through our first day back at work yesterday and first day of Infant School for Lake. Big day. Successful day.

He had his first solid foods. I’m sad I missed witnessing his first food other than direct breastfeeding. But, I have no doubt he enjoyed it thoroughly. Grandpa says on Lake’s behalf:

I can hardly wait to get back there!

Well, baby, here we go!

You’ve got a smile that’s a mile wide!

I overhead Michael remarking to Lake. Later, as I kissed Lake’s knee and leg, he giggled gleefully in response. 

Kiss

Giggle 

Kiss

Giggle

Kiss

Giggle 

He’s so much fun! And he elicits a mile wide smile from mummy too! Wish us luck in keeping those smiles bright as we make the transition back to work today. 



A few weeks ago we went to the dentist and my dental hygienist proclaimed

Lake is on the cutting edge!

Literally. He first cut his teeth at three and a half months old. She said that indicated he would be early side for all things dental. 

That brings us up to today with our friends in Bellingham. News flash! Lake has four upper front teeth that are breaking through. How do I miss these things? Grandma Julie noticed his first two teeth at Daddy’s birthday party in September. Now Lake’s eight year-old  friend spends a few hours with him and informs me he has lots of teeth coming in. It’s confirmed. It takes a village!

It’s happening. The career-mum plan is unfolding and “transition time” is here. I am preparing to return to work on Monday. I’ve been mining the Work-Life Balance resources for the past few months to coordinate this. Childcare, daycare, au pair. I hope the name holds true “work-life balance”. Lake will be starting daycare at the Harborview affiliated Bright Horizons on Monday: when I go in to work he will be accompanying me. We visited this Bright Horizons facility yesterday where he will be spending his days. It comes with the highest recommendations for quality early childhood development. We got oriented to Lake’s new “Little School” and there were introductions all around. Lots of babies, curious and crying babies, and nice smiling ladies. Then I left for a one hour trial.

Thankfully I met a friend who was just getting off work and we were able to spend the hour going for a distracting walk down to the Seattle waterfront. I was a nervous wreck to leave Lake chilling on the floor. But once Clarence and I got walking through the late afternoon sunshine we didn’t want to turn back. We walked down the hill to Pioneer Square and along the waterfront to the Great Wheel and the Seattle Aquarium. It was great to be outside and it felt a bit naked not to have Lake with me enjoying the sights as well. 

We were back right on time. Lake was comforted to see me when we returned. He was crying on the floor where I had left him. The nice care providers assured me if had only decompensated a few moments before. It reaffirmed our glad decision to be welcoming our family au pair in the new year. Until then, this is our privileged adventure. I picked him up, gave him a hug and told him he had been so brave and that I loved him. As you can see, I was joyful to be reunited! 

In the evening Lake and I walked back downtown together. We went to Pacific Place to meet cousin Laura for some celebratory shopping.  Surprisingly we found Christmas music and decorations awaiting us! 

This morning I woke up, and I thought 

What a surreal day! Did that all happen?

I think it did indeed. Wish us all luck and a bon voyage! Today we are off to visit Nana and Grandpa for our finalé weekend capping a phenomenal maternity leave!

Lake was getting some petting practice today. He and the cats have just started to show a new level of interest in each other this week. Lake prefers Mr. Cat because of his fluffy long hair… so soft! Two nice pets before a big grab. 

Pet. Pet. Fistful of fur. Pry open little fist. Pet. Pet. Grab fur and hold. Like a little chimp he hangs on tight. I think we’re still at the point where supervision is required. So far so good though, and Mr. Cat is basking in the extra attention!

Just discovered some sad news. Regarding my high heeled shoe collection. All my most beloved footwear: my gorgeous wedding heels, my grandmother’s heels from the 1950s and 60s, and my black and brown leather investment heels from my 20s. None of them fit. It’s like trying on Cinderella’s shoes. My feet are officially bigger now. Pregnancy , yoga, breastfeeding, barefoot maternity leave, ligament laxity, yoga toes, pregnancy. Happy feet. Big wide feet. Noooooooooo. Breathe. Deep breath. It’s okay to give myself some time and space to grieve. I’m dragging my feet but ultimately working towards accepting the truth. I went to yoga tonight and the lesson was “surrender”. Time to let go. 

It has been six days since the election results came in. Six days of protests and six days of constant helicopters overhead in Seattle. I’m concerned for the stability of the economy and the safety of all our freedom as Trump names Reince Priebus his chief of staff and Stephen Bannon senior White House policy adviser. It seems he is choosing to let the Republicans play out their desired agenda while downplaying it’s importance to the people via the press and taking influence in the media from an ultra right wing perspective. For example the comment he made on the 60 minutes interview that aired yesterday about abortion. It struck me as cavelier when he said that women seeking abortive measures when Roe vs. Wade is overthrown (but relax, it won’t happen right away) will just need to travel to another state [where States Rights will presumably choose to protect it in some states]. It reminded me of the “No bread? Let them eat cake” comment that may have gotten Marie-Antoinette (wife of King Louis XVI) in hot water in 1789 France. I was moved to sign the petition calling on the Electoral College to consider casting their votes the way the popular vote did, for Hillary Clinton. 

I suppose I’ll also be seen as a delicate, out of touch, liberal elitist. I complain of the headache and phychological weariness the sound of constant helicopters overhead. Right away on Wednesday I found a safety pin and pinned it on Lake’s and my gear, the Baby Björn, as a sign of solidarity that we are a safe place for anyone feeling marginalized or experiencing violence. Then, immediately a slew of arguments came out against it. All the way from: that it is merely a meaningless token to assuage your privileged white guilt and if you want to send a meaningful message to use the pin to attach a large sign reading black lives matter, to: it’s too dangerous to wear the safety pin unless you’re willing to take an attack on another persons behalf. At any rate, we are still sporting the safety pin. I feel safe on Lake’s behalf, but there is a good point being made who is really going to notice it as I walk around my north Seattle neighborhoods?

So my safety pin should invoke in me a sense of fear and futility. Meanwhile I still have a headache from the helicopters. 

Yesterday on 60 minutes, Trump said of his volatile, and perhaps violence inspiring campaign personality

Well, sometimes you need a certain rhetoric to get people motivated. 

And then to both his supporters and his detractors regarding racial violence and protesters:

Stop it. I would say, stop it. Just don’t do it. I’m going to bring this country together. 

I can’t stop reading articles since the election results came in Tuesday hard and fast. I’m trying to understand and get oriented and stay informed. I want to hope for the best. 

I made a pilgrimage to nearby Peace Park. I’m trying to do face yoga to relax my face and mind and to let go of the tension. Lake remains a sweetheart with an easy smile. But how long of worried anxious mummy and ominous overhead rumbling before he begins to suffer too? He’s so innocent and good natured!

While the ultra-right celebrates, and the urban areas cry out in protest, the world holds its breath. Out of the shock, a spirit of collaboration painfully emerges.

Tuesday Hillary Clinton won the popular vote (so far and counting) but conceded the election, Wednesday #notourpresident ignited, and today Donald J. Trump is cordially welcomed into the White House as our 45th president-elect. The nation is reeling from the quick succession of events. Many of us were deeply offended by Trump’s cavalier and disrespectful nature while on the campaign trail and did not see him as a legitimate executive branch head, the ultimate ambassador for the United States. He did not seem to represent our strong values of integrity, respect and inclusiveness that we hold dear to our origins as a nation of political and religious refugees. On the one hand, with this outcome that was predicted by political science models, we are humbly reminded of the pendulous nature of national executive branch which has a long history of swinging back and forth between periods of democratic progress and republican recovery. On the other hand, we are confronted with the seemingly antiquated system of the electoral college. The concept and practicality of the electoral college recalls the days of horse drawn carriages, where the maximum size of a county was determined by the furthest corner that could be reached within a one day’s horse ride to the county seat. More weight is afforded each state itself than the population as a whole, de-emphasizing the prevailing sentiments in the urban density of the coasts and favoring the less populated middle states. The results emphasize how we have let down our rural poor adrift in middle America. What makes America truly great is it’s free basic education, higher education opportunities, innovative health care, environmental beauty, richness of the resources and continuous influx of talented immigrants. It reminds me of our responsibility to respect, preserve and further, not shortsightedly diminish, demolish and regress.

We, the VanLaanens, the Seattle, the West Coast, the urban USA, the educated middle class have misgivings, even as all signs of making nice and a smooth transition of power is underway. As charming as Donald Trump is, and as FDR-heralding-New Deal as his victory speech sounded, I feel cautious about how optimistic I can be about Trump’s presidency. I’m skeptical regarding whether he knows how to have the best interest of the environment in mind. Or our country’s social welfare over advancement of his own interest and the financial interests of his friends, other known-quantities-of-dubious-morality financial interests. I’m concerned that the older white under-educated American voter has been misguided into thinking Trump will provide them with a better way of life, when we will in all likelihood head into recession. I’m saddened we will not see the disillusioned and disenfranchised Trump supporters benefiting from Hillary Clinton’s presidential commitment to expanding access to free or affordable daycare, schools, healthcare and to becoming a world-leader in clean energy jobs. I had hoped environmental protection rather than degradation would be our way towards a better future, not by maintaining ignorance and accessing further fossil fuels via foreign wars and domestic plunder strategies. This election has illuminated our nation’s vulnerabilities, and is a call to action to turn the tide on poverty and ignorance in our own country.

Nonetheless, Mr. Trump is a skilled and charismatic individual. He speaks to his audience and he follows his goal with relentless energy. This he will bring to his presidency, and we will all benefit. As he was campaigning he had identified a very specific target, and I was not his audience . Now, we are all his audience and I think we will find that he is extremely cognizant of that and will comport himself accordingly. Furthermore, our country is fundamentally made up of our people and we are all ambassadors of the USA. Lake will soon be a US passport holder, and no, it’s not so we can emigrate, it’s so we can travel in a spirit of exploration, appreciation and cultural exchange!