During the last hot spell we went to Port Townsend as climate refugees. We stayed on our dear friend Nora’s farm, Amity Fiber Farm. This is where I’ve been having deep conversations about life since my late teens. Very special people. Very special place. This is where Michael and I honeymooned in their romantic garden trailer honeymoon suite “The Can”. It was exquisite to be finally back for a visit…with Lake!

Lake loved it! He kept saying: “On the Farm!” And I would answer, “yes, it doesn’t get much more ‘on the farm’ than this!” as we’re standing knee deep in sheep! Lake got to look for eggs and pet the cat and go to the beach. He took to Nora like a duck to water and began calling her “Nonna”, Italian for grandmother. Fitting since Nora has this great idea involving a local grandmother grandkids share, where interested parties get matched to a local “grandchild”. All local and organic of course! I got to poke around in the garden and admire Nora’s local plant pigment dyeing projects. What a perfect stay On the Farm, warm with love and woolly “ba’s”, yet cool with ocean breeze! Thank you “Nonna” Nora and Ed for the perfect stay!

Lake loves the zoo and as you may well know, or could have guessed, his two favorite types of animals there (not including the family farm which he’s equally crazy for) are the primates and the felines. No surprise there! This week, when asked what he wants to see at the zoo he replies “Lola” for “Yola” and “sit big cat.”

Clarence got him this plush jaguar a few weeks ago which he has since named “Clarence Cat.”

[Photo taken July 27, 2018 Harborview Medical Center by Clarence Ladd]

And now, Lake’s gotten the idea it’s fun to sit on big cats. He’d be in to an pretty big zoo adventure there that might end us up back at Harborview! So we’re happy we were able to make a compromise on the bronze snow leopard.

so he gets to manifest his dreams to “Sit big cat!” on August 2nd pictured here. Also, “sit dragon lizard” and play with some friends!

Before Michael and I went on our first official date (10/10/10), the one that ended with a kiss, we went on a short series of ever-increasingly frequent and intimate pre-date dates. The one just prior to our “first date” was a tennis date on Thursday (10/7/10). Prior to the tennis date, Michael had come out to a Mariners’ baseball game the week before on Friday (10/1/10). He knew he would find me attending it since it was a pharmacy school fraternity event, and he came with the intention of creating the opportunity to ask me out. So, we chatted at the Mariners game and he invited me to meet at the University of Washington courts after class one day the next week to play some tennis. I still remember wearing my tennis outfit to school that day, carrying my red tennis bag very excited to be getting to play tennis, and cautiously thrilled to be playing with Michael. That was Fall 2010.

This is now.

Still excited to be playing together! This week we met some friends at the very same courts at University of Washington to play doubles. Lake was inadvertently playing the part of the tennis court rodeo clown. He was so funny! And so good! Who knew he would love tennis so much? Well, it does include most of his favorite things: running and ball and friends.

We all had a great time. It was a perfect day, I’m glad I’m spending my life with you!

Lake can’t get enough of hopping and jumping and talking there’s days! Talking about his experiences. Talking about our weekend trips to Bainbridge Island (“boat!”) and the Woodland Park Zoo (dotes!). He is so enthusiastic and engaged.

[August 9, 2018 in Ravenna Park]

For example, as we left the zoo last time in response to my “say bye bye to the animals”, he started in on his rendition of our visit. He remembered all the animals that we saw during our three hour visit. “Bye-bye: Affe (Colobus monkeys, red ruffled and ringtail Lemur, two cows, ‘Dotes’ (goats), baby ‘dote’ (Pygmy goat), ‘ba’ (sheep), ‘Lola’ (Yola the toddler gorilla), Duck, hippos…”

As the week has progressed the “Dotes” and “Lola” have most strongly withstood the test of time to come out on top seemingly as his favorites.

Along this theme, his current favorite book is “Where the Wild Things Are” written and illustrated by Maurice Sendak. He calls it “cow” and points out the wild things as “cow” and “Lola,” qualified as “Affe.” “Daddy, Mummy” also get thrown in there where Max is pictured riding on the shoulders of one of the wild things. “Max” is interchangeable for “Lake.”

He now likes to put in book and song requests. Baby Boats is his favorite lullaby, compliments of his time with Nana. It is a sweet song my mama raised me on, too. So it’s “cow” (read Where the Wild Things Are), “Affe” (looking at the pictures) “Dotes!” (Thinking about the Zoo) “Baby Dotes!” (more zoo… wait,! Rhymes with:) “Baby. Boats.” And the we sing:

Baby boats and silver moon

Sailing in the sky,

Sailing o’re a sea of dreams

As the clouds go by.

Sail, Baby, sail,

Out across the sea,

Only don’t forget to sail

Back again to me, back again to me.

Baby’s fishing for a dream,

Fishing near and far.

His line’s a silver moonbeam,

His bait’s a silver star.

Sail, Baby, sail,

Out across the sea,

Only don’t forget to sail

Back again to me, back again to me.

All day and reactivated at bedtime, he truly is a joy! A perfect day, every day, I’m glad I spent it with you.

This was originally written July 22, 2018 and has been pending my account upgrade. tbv

This morning Lake and I couldn’t stop laughing. It all started with him asking for juice. Oh, did Nana give you juice? I started laughing. Well, I don’t think we have any juice sweetheart. Here we only have tea. I laughed some more. Lake started laughing. Nana, juice! Then we started laughing big peals of laughter. When the laughing died down. Lake would get his impish grin and say Juice! And start laughing. That would get me laughing again. It was contagious! Laugh Yoga!

So I made him some Tazo Passion tea with ice and stevia. And we had another good laugh about how Nana spoiled him with juice! He dinged the glass with his fingernail and said Bell! I didn’t quite catch it… was it Boy? Was it Blue? Bell! He said several times. Then he started miming something near his neck. Bell. Bell. *Cow* bell. Cow bell? Oh! Of courses, Bell! It set me off again in gales of laughter. He merrily joined in the fun. And more laughing yoga ensued!

A perfect day… for laughter and tea! I’m so glad I spent it with you, Lake!

Headed to Bainbridge Island to spend the day with Grandma Kitty… first we were “on the bus”, then “off the bus”, then “on the choo choo” then “off the choo choo”, then “on the boat!” Lake speaks in whole prepositional phrases now!

Lake tested the waters today! After two weeks at Newman Lake, regarding the waves cautiously, today he is ready to start making his own waves. Tomorrow is unbelievably already time to say goodbye to Camp NanaBaba. A huge thank you to Nana, Baba and Luisa for making it happen, and, hopefully just a “see you later!”

Official news reports from Camp NanaBaba reveal that… “life is [indeed] good.”

We received our first letter home from Lake today with reassurances that after ten days at Camp NanaBaba he has not forgotten us (Mama on the left, Daddy on the right).

The smiling artist himself (we love you too, Lake and have not forgotten either!):

Breastfeeding has been a special experience for Lake and me. It’s all the two of us have known in relation to each other. It’s been the one constant amidst all the other changes in the past two years. It’s been an act of loving kindness, of devotion, and of straightforward simplicity. We developed a rhythm of sorts, a biological schedule of breakfast, lunch, dinner, and nightcap day in and day out, rain or shine through work and weekends. Never a bottle, always from the breast, only a few occasions hand-pumped for yoga retreats. Later, out of convenience, skipping meals or constantly snacking as the circumstances allowed. At times it was a rather organic process such as being on holiday, just the two of us. My friend Julia referred to it as “open bar.” Or maybe it’s Lake’s version of slowing the pace, of Slow Food! Truly, breastfeeding Lake is one of the highlights of my life. I wanted the opportunity to breastfeed my baby for a long time and to have this dream manifest has been a true joy. The feeling has been mutual, too… Lake relishes his Num Nums! as he calls it.

Now, is it time to say goodbye? That is the big question weighing on my chest right these past days. We have met the 12 month minimum recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics, and we met the two year minimum recommendation from the World Health Organization guidelines for breastfeeding. Clearly he no longer needs to breastfeed. Though he certainly still seeks it out. When he hasn’t seen me for a few hours, or when injured or jet lagged he is apt to inquire about and request breastfeeding. It’s comforting for sure. It’s also nutritious and healthy and yummy for him! Lake will say num nums, or even now more recently num nums? politely inquiring, asking permission. If I say “möchtest Du [would you like] num nums?” He will exuberantly reply Ja!!! Last week he did for the first time call num nums “Essen” The German word for food or meal.As in, “Sitz Essen. Essen Num Nums!” That did take me aback a bit. It reminded me of my grandmother’s story of how long she breastfed. She said when her son looked at her and asked her directly for the milk, that made her feel like a cow, and reached her limit right here! Milkies is for babies, not children! So for nostalgia, here’s Lake’s first Num Nums:

Now, with Lake at his Grandparents on holiday, this is a natural opportunity to cease and desist with the beloved milkies. It would be so easy but it’s still so hard. The decision becomes so final. There’s no turning back once we stop our num nums connection. And it’s so special! On Saturday we had dinner with my in-laws on Bainbridge and my mother-in-law shared her grandmother’s wisdom. She and her sister had not been breastfed, so when she was pregnant and perhaps strategizing how to feed her newborn, her grandmother leaned in and said: “breastfeed-you’ll love it!” And so she did.

This is our second time now, since Lake turned two years old, where we’ve been separated for multiple days. The first time was the yoga teacher training retreat last month. I had planned to have that be our good-bye num nums. But I pumped instead. I couldn’t let go. It’s so final. Then the first thing he did when I got home from the four day retreat (where he got on swimmingly without me of course), was to leap into my arms and wriggle himself downwards and sideways in order to breastfeed.

There were points when it was a bit much for me, (as in when he was jet lagged and drinking all night for three nights in a row!), but not to the point where it’s worth turning him down or trying to introduce a pacifier. I always sought to enjoy this incredibly special bond knowing that it’s such a unique time together. Now, either way the cookie crumbles, we’re getting close to the end, to the bittersweet Goodbye Num Nums. Michael commends me for my valiant effort, though it may not even end up being within my power at all. Today when I sat down to pump my daily few ounces, only a few drops squeaked out of leftie. I knew it was inevitable that Num Nums would eventually come to their natural conclusion. This current separation might very well be it, so I had Michael take one last photo before Lake left. Will it end up being a photo commemorating “The Last Supper?”

Lake is off on an adventure of independence. He and Luisa flew over to Spokane today, as a party of two. They traveled to Eastern Washington to spend a nice holiday with Nana and Baba on the shores of his namesake “The Lake.”

As it turns out, Lake loves the airplane! He had his own seat and he was thrilled!

For the past week he’s been talking about this. Airplane, Nana Baba, LjoLjo, cows! Well, not sure if Newman Lake will be able to deliver on the Swiss quality and quantity of cows, but he sure expressed a solid grasp of the situation. He was ready for that airplane. And it was a happy experience for them

Bye Bye Lake! Mama loves you! (And so do Nana and Baba!) Have a super time. Up up and away!