Just discovered some sad news. Regarding my high heeled shoe collection. All my most beloved footwear: my gorgeous wedding heels, my grandmother’s heels from the 1950s and 60s, and my black and brown leather investment heels from my 20s. None of them fit. It’s like trying on Cinderella’s shoes. My feet are officially bigger now. Pregnancy , yoga, breastfeeding, barefoot maternity leave, ligament laxity, yoga toes, pregnancy. Happy feet. Big wide feet. Noooooooooo. Breathe. Deep breath. It’s okay to give myself some time and space to grieve. I’m dragging my feet but ultimately working towards accepting the truth. I went to yoga tonight and the lesson was “surrender”. Time to let go. 

It has been six days since the election results came in. Six days of protests and six days of constant helicopters overhead in Seattle. I’m concerned for the stability of the economy and the safety of all our freedom as Trump names Reince Priebus his chief of staff and Stephen Bannon senior White House policy adviser. It seems he is choosing to let the Republicans play out their desired agenda while downplaying it’s importance to the people via the press and taking influence in the media from an ultra right wing perspective. For example the comment he made on the 60 minutes interview that aired yesterday about abortion. It struck me as cavelier when he said that women seeking abortive measures when Roe vs. Wade is overthrown (but relax, it won’t happen right away) will just need to travel to another state [where States Rights will presumably choose to protect it in some states]. It reminded me of the “No bread? Let them eat cake” comment that may have gotten Marie-Antoinette (wife of King Louis XVI) in hot water in 1789 France. I was moved to sign the petition calling on the Electoral College to consider casting their votes the way the popular vote did, for Hillary Clinton. 

I suppose I’ll also be seen as a delicate, out of touch, liberal elitist. I complain of the headache and phychological weariness the sound of constant helicopters overhead. Right away on Wednesday I found a safety pin and pinned it on Lake’s and my gear, the Baby Björn, as a sign of solidarity that we are a safe place for anyone feeling marginalized or experiencing violence. Then, immediately a slew of arguments came out against it. All the way from: that it is merely a meaningless token to assuage your privileged white guilt and if you want to send a meaningful message to use the pin to attach a large sign reading black lives matter, to: it’s too dangerous to wear the safety pin unless you’re willing to take an attack on another persons behalf. At any rate, we are still sporting the safety pin. I feel safe on Lake’s behalf, but there is a good point being made who is really going to notice it as I walk around my north Seattle neighborhoods?

So my safety pin should invoke in me a sense of fear and futility. Meanwhile I still have a headache from the helicopters. 

Yesterday on 60 minutes, Trump said of his volatile, and perhaps violence inspiring campaign personality

Well, sometimes you need a certain rhetoric to get people motivated. 

And then to both his supporters and his detractors regarding racial violence and protesters:

Stop it. I would say, stop it. Just don’t do it. I’m going to bring this country together. 

I can’t stop reading articles since the election results came in Tuesday hard and fast. I’m trying to understand and get oriented and stay informed. I want to hope for the best. 

I made a pilgrimage to nearby Peace Park. I’m trying to do face yoga to relax my face and mind and to let go of the tension. Lake remains a sweetheart with an easy smile. But how long of worried anxious mummy and ominous overhead rumbling before he begins to suffer too? He’s so innocent and good natured!