My husband has a super power. He is adept at assessing people’s character and crystalizing nebulous problems. When I point this out, he demurs. Recently I asked him for some relationship advice. Not my own. Obviously.
This was his solid advice:
1. Be kind.
2. Let it all go.
3. Start practicing #1 and #2 and keep on doing that every day forever. The silver lining is that you should be doing this anyways. This is the work of being a human.
4. Find workarounds for everything that you can. If you don’t like the way she drives the car, get her her own car and stay out of it; she is 100% responsible for her car.
5. Later, much later, when a bank of trust has accumulated in the relationship, you can start talking about stuff again.