In between monsoons today we went out for the annual walk at Greenlake with the local Newfoundland Club. It turned out I met and feel in love all over again with the 220 pound black male we’d met at Greenlake last summer. No, I’m not talking about my husband. This was the dog who introduced us to Newfoundlands and gave us the fever to adopt one for our own family. Today Michael was at work, so it was just Lake and myself out at the Newfoundland Club gathering. I was quickly drawn to one of the largest dogs there; he’s a sweetheart, loves to be pet and is very self contained. It wasn’t until Lake and I were home having our naps that I realized that “James” with the husband of last summer and “Bond” with the wife of today were the same dog! He’s a magnificent creature, so gentle with beautiful eyes. And huge! Fully a extra normal dog measurement larger than all the rest of the thirty Newfoundland’s present. As much as Lake loves “Puppies!” and watching Newfoundlands on YouTube with Daddy, real life was altogether something else. Lake really didn’t know what to think. He kept his distance, a bit wary of James Bond and all the others. Who can blame him really? That’s a lot of tons of dog!

Somehow Lake had gone from doing his nights at 7 weeks to breastfeeding all night long earlier last week at 22 months. There has been a gradual sleep dis-education that has crept up on us creating a family crisis. I couldn’t take it! I was unable to concentrate at work and my brain was processing at a slower rate. I was tired! Easy to cry and quick to anger. One afternoon a few days ago when I wrote Michael how morale was down and I needed a cheer-up, he read between the lines and saw how tired I was and in need of a nap. He poignantly responded with:

I understand sweetie, oh my sleep has been tough lately. Maybe we can have a conference with Lake and do some bed time expectation setting.

I started crying. How simple and how true. So we made an action plan that evening to reframe the nights for sleeping.

The thing is, Lake knows when he’s tired and he knows that it’s nice to go to sleep. He listens when I say something will happen in two minutes or five minutes or twenty minutes. He understands. So after nearly two years of no bedtime and Lake falling asleep typically somewhere between 9-11:30pm, we instituted a 9pm lights out. The new routine involves getting ready starting at 8:30pm with quick bathing, fresh nappy, pajamas, tooth brushing and stories, songs or bedtime horseplay as the mood strikes, (yes, jumping on the bed is still allowed). First we thought 8pm Sleeping Time sounded more normal but that didn’t prove feasible or enforceable for Mummy. Oftentimes our family is still finishing up dinner at that time. The whole point is that Lake’s bedtime and sleeping through the night without interruption will bring harmony to the family life. I explained to Lake the plan. That as a full family member he has a responsibility to care for the other family’s sense of well-being just as we all care for his. He would be helping out the whole family to be doing his part of sleeping through the night. Just like everyone else is sleeping through the night: Mr. Cat, Mr. Silky, Daddy, Luisa, Mummy, (or at least how I was yearning to be asleep).

We brushed up on graduated extinction. The biggest obstacle is lack of parental consistency. Meaning: we shoot ourselves in the foot. We braced ourselves. We had a successful bedtime routine and Lake fell asleep shortly after the 9pm lights out during night milkies. Well, I fell asleep too. So I woke up at 1am and tried to sneak out. No luck. He woke up and began screaming. I left per the plan. He cried for 20 minutes. We had a plan and we determined to stick to it. I would go in at 20 minutes but no milkies, only singing and reassuring and for not more than two minutes. At 20 minutes of wakefulness, I opened the door to find him standing behind it screaming at the top of his lungs. I started singing about our plan for sleeping through the night. That I wouldn’t be coming back in. That he could cuddle up with Hop and Ba and Meow and go back to sleep. At three minutes Michael popped in and looming in the doorway called me back to bed. Lake screaming, I closed the door. It was a challenging seven minutes and then suddenly… silence. Deafening silence. It was a shock.

We were all wondering if he was still alive in there because the shift was so sudden. There, however, was no way I was going to open that door and risk breaking the silence and our sleep training promise. So we lived the rest of the moment until falling back asleep ourselves with the niggling uncertainty if he was actually sleeping peacefully in his bed.

He was. Then the next night, last night, our bedtime routine went like clockwork. Lake bedtime readiness from 8:30-9pm. Night milkies to sleep by 9:30pm. This time I was more rested too, so I was able to not fall asleep and instead slip out undetected at 9:30pm. Michael and I had an adult sit on the sofa and congratulated each other on our diligent efforts. Where else except maybe planking do you get such payoff for rather small investment? He slept all the way through until 8:30am. Tonight we had another timely bedtime ritual from 8:30-9pm. And asleep with me slipping out at 9:30pm. Now we sit reading by the fire feeling very civilized and wondering if nights will be ours again forevermore?

We appreciate last night. And we’ll take tonight. We made sure to let Lake know he can be very proud of himself for sleeping through the night and contributing to the family’s welfare in that way. He lit up with joy and said “ja!” to the first point and “ja!” to the second point. Lake, it’s been a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you. Now the nights are for me! Gott sei Dank!

Michael and Lake had a father son day today. Mummy was at work and Luisa had the day off. They walked all around the span of four neighborhoods, ranging from the University Village to Fremont. They have such a strong and dynamic relationship. It’s a different flavor compared with the relationship Lake has with me. Lake is much more likely to respond with laughter and impish glee when he’s challenged by Michael, compared to the new whinging and tantrum defaults of late with me. It’s a pleasure to witness their freedom. They had a perfect day together and, for this: I’m glad I spent it with(out) you.

Why get a Thai Massage with Wayne Trinklein?

1. Unlike any other massage you’ve had before: something new!
2. Trustworthy practitioner allows you to let go: so relaxing!
3. Completely clothed: wear your socks!
4. Passive joint mobilization combined with manual pressure: full body tune-up!
5. Wayne has a really warm touch: hydrocolator hands!
6. It all takes place on a bright orange futon
7. Total body workout: so sore the next day!
8. Insurance covers this: $11 copayment!
9. By some miracle he’s not completely booked: accepting new patients!
10. Self care is the foundational building block to happiness: so content after Thai massage!

Thank you Wayne Trinklein!

After the yoga retreat at Sleeping Lady, which lived up to its name, I came home Sunday to a very sick baby. It was a bumpy landing. I had had a restful and rejuvenating weekend of yoga, once I got through the initial fear of our separation. I was free and living joyfully. Lake had had a lovely weekend with my parents too, sleeping through the nights and generally enjoying himself to the maximum. By Sunday evening though, he was hot with fever and didn’t want to sleep. He could only find some semblance of solace though breastfeeding. All. Night. Long. It was Sleepless Lady for me. Fortunately I’d been concentrated on self-care all weekend at the Sleeping Lady Resort and my vessel was filled up. I was able to draw on my reserves right away! It was an immediate and very real situation inviting me to put my yoga into practice. We survived the night of constant hydration and never topped 100.1F. Monday has given us a rather discomfited baby, but an opportunity for recuperating and practicing patient compassion nonetheless. A perfectly imperfect day; I’m glad I spent it with you.

What do you do when you’re in Icicle Canyon and have a break from yoga retreat? When your afternoon is sandwiched in between two two-hour yoga asana practices? Quite naturally you climb Icicle Ridge and strike a pose on the saddle. The 2 1/2 hour hike offered up a vinyasa practice for my lungs. Constant and rhythmic flow of air. Breathing in. Up. Such freshness! Pine scent. New snow. Bright sunshine. I am here. Breathing out. Letting go. Exhale. Quick. Assisted. Powerful. I am free. Begin again. Inhale this moment. Filling the lungs. Renewal. Slip slide, glisade, galloping joyfully down the ridge noting the early blooming sedges and wildflowers to return home. Immerse into the salt water hot tub to soak and complete the rejuvenation! A perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you, Self.

I pumped two ounces tonight with my new Medela Hand Pump, and sweated more than that in anxiety. It’s the first time I’ve found myself in a necessary pumping experience. At 22 months post-partum, I’m filled with awe and gratitude that every day up until now Lake and I have been together. It’s special both ways: that we’ve been so uniquely bonded for the past 22 months as to be actually feeding, every day, multiple times a day, at the breast, and that we are able to have our own adventures this weekend apart from each other and not require us to cease breastfeeding. It’s certainly a memorable milestone: our first weekend apart.

I’m at the Sleeping Lady Resort attending a Synergy Yoga Retreat and Lake is at Nana-Camp with Nana and Baba for the weekend. Friday has been a perfect day, and a courageous day for all involved. Good night, pray sleep soundly, and sweet dreams my loves. I’ve got my two ounces “on the rocks” at my bedside table.

This was a big winter for snow in Seattle, what with our Christmas Eve snow and then again all of our February flurries. So Lake has had premium opportunities to practice and repeat his beautiful German pronunciation: Schnee. Lately though, he’s been scrunching up his nose a bit at the beginning and dropped the Sch, so it’s just ‘Nee ‘Nee! Every morning of late thats been cold and wintery-white with frost, he’s been proclaiming ‘nee! ‘Nee! ‘Nee! First it was cute, but then a few days ago, I started attempting to retrain him. Emphasizing the Sch sound. To no avail.

Schnee! Schnee! Schnee! Eigentlich heißt es nicht ‘nee, sondern heißt es “Schnee!”

And so forth. He didn’t budge. So tonight at bath time when he started calling the towel an “owl”, I had to laugh. He had these other practical words such as towel quite nicely handled. Before. So I emphasized T-T-T-T. Towel. He kept saying “owl”. But then he got a twinkle in his eye, “t-t-t-t”, he said delicately, grinning widely . He loved it! He howeled with laughter, and repeated, t-t-t-t-t!

Still no Schnee, and still no towel, but oh we had fun!

We set our clocks forward this morning and it was as if we were sprung into perpetual motion. We were solar powered! We went to the zoo, then came home to the tiniest of naps. While we were finishing up the yard work, Lake decided we should bicycle to and around Greenlake. He suggestively brought out his helmet and the bicycle trailer.

After our lap around the Lake, which was essentially a dog parade, Puppy! Puppy! Puppy! we spent a good long while at the Greenlake shore, playing in the sand and being friendly with the other families that came to sun themselves too we outlasted them all, then rode back home to rest.

Chickadee Music Together has been a great experience for Lake. He’s been in attendance since he was 7 1/2 months old, and he’s usually the king of the room, the most into it, dancing around in the center of the circle having the best time! One unintended consequence and unexpected benefit is that he’s great at picking up his toys. During the 45 minute class that is comprised of may songs the teacher distributes different instruments or scarves for each song, then after that all the students have to put them back in the basket. After each song, so the children get a lot of practice putting their playthings away, back in the basket. So now it’s a glorious practice… The toy flotsam that hijacks your Beautiful House and leaves you with a Fun House: he picks it up! And tosses it in the gorgeous woven baskets we have strategically located around the house.

So proud!